Every mom is different, our bodies are different, and we have different experiences with pregnancies, deliveries, and recoveries. But let me just be real and pretend like I'm not blasting this all over the world wide web. After 3 pregnancies, the last with twins, my belly will never be bikini worthy again. At least not without plastic surgery.
Some moms just have to work hard, work out, and it all snaps back into place. But for many of us, the stretch marks and saggy skin are here to stay. After the first two kids, my skin was relatively unchanged, and after some dieting I returned to prepregnancy weight and appearance. But after the twins last year, my skin elasticity gave up on me.
I carried those boys to full term, and they weighed 6lb 9oz and 6lb 5oz. They are beautiful and healthy. I was so proud of all that my body had accomplished, and sort of hoped for the best as I started eating healthy and nursing them. But I've been back to my prepreg weight for almost year, and the skin thing still bothers me.
I've seen worse, and if you want to see what I mean just google '"twinskin"--but fair warning, you might be alarmed by what you see. The term "twinskin" was coined to describe the aftereffects of carrying 2, and I think it's fair to say it's the only complaint I have about having twins. I'll take the double feedings, double tantrums, double cost, double time, double mess, but the doubly damaged skin is hard to handle. And I know other moms out there have had way worse outcomes than damaged skin, so I know this is all relative to what tragedies are in our lives, but in my life, I feel young and beautiful and joyful to be a mom, I just wish my body reflected that.
Cosmetic surgery is the only way Kate Gosselin could return to a normal stomach (granted she carried a lot more baby), and I would be lying if I said I'd never consider it. What an easy quick fix!! Thousands of dollars, yes, but for a lifetime of confidence, and a healthier self-image, and just a short recovery period? Sounds like a good trade-off.
Except I'm a big fan and follower of Christ. And in Philippians 2:3, Paul (another big fan of Christ) says: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider
others better than yourselves." And how could I justify spending Ryan's money, my children's money, on something that is totally out of vanity? And how could I rationalize a surgery as anything other that what it is? A cosmetic fix. It's an on-the-surface, all-about-me, prideful and vain and narcissistic thing. And I don't condemn others who've had it done. Judging others is not my thing. For me, I am drawn to the idea, but am ashamed that I feel I need it.
I know other moms can relate, and I hope in sharing my feelings about it, it brings you a sense of community and comfort, in knowing you're not the only mom who carries this "badge of honor" everywhere you go.
And for the well-intentioned, please don't respond with lotion recommendations or exercise suggestions, because it's not like that. And if you're suggesting those things, then clearly you have no idea what twinskin is.
I would post a picture of my belly as other brave twin moms have done on their blogs, but as you may have guessed, I'm not that brave. And I wouldn't be so audacious to steal an image of twinskin from the web because that's super rude.
With clothes on, no complaints. But when clothes come off, I'm just not a big fan of what I see anymore. And some days are better than others (mentally), but I'd be lying if I said I don't have mini-depressing thoughts occasionally.
So I sign off. My 4 yr old daughter is talking my ear off about Dorothy and munchkin costumes and lullaby leagues and I just can't ignore her adorableness any longer.