You know how they tell you time goes by faster when your older?
It's totally true. I turned 33 last week. Days melt into weeks, weeks into months, and suddenly I have a 9 year old, I'm in the PTA, and I found a shiny thing on my head the other day that I'm told is called a gray hair.
Days into weeks, weeks into months, and suddenly I'm 30freaking3.
I know you guys read this looking for just a quick glimpse into what's going on with us, but it's so hard to condense everything into a snapshot. I need to write more often.
I need to do a recap of my sister Julie's wedding weekend, but jumping back into my blog after MONTHS of being away, I feel ill-equiped. Tonight I just have so much on my brain-- I think I'll start small. I'll start with just a recap of today.
5am: Levi (19months) wakes up (crib still in our bedroom) and I bring him into bed to nurse and perhaps buy myself some more time in bed. *he only nurses morning and before bed...
I am a zombie and dont really know what time it is except after Levi's done nursing he proceeds to kick me in the throat, apparently not tired any more, at which point I claw at Ryan and ask him to tell me the time.
Somehow Levi and I fall back asleep.
7am: Ryan comes to kiss me goodbye, looking and smelling divine for work, I wake groggily to hear him whisper, " Hey baby, I'm going. all the other kids are awake, everyone has eaten, Levi is still asleep.." and he sneaks out.
I curl back into my pillow, excited to catch another 1-15 minutes before a kid busts in or Levi realizes it's legitimately morning.
7:15: naked twin B(Lincoln) busts in. "HI MOMMY!" with a huge smile and jumps into bed, narrowly avoiding Levi. (NOTE: my twins have a limited set of verbal skills, both boys being on the autism spectrum, so to hear either greet me at all is a fantastic, beautiful, amazing feeling I don't take for granted)
7:16: Levi and I roll out of bed, and I pass out seconds of cereal to everyone who asks, which is everyone. (Juliette and Jackson are watching some ABC songs on Youtube, Luke is on the computer playing some throwback Kirby or Dr. Mario games, Lincoln is dashing back and forth between living room and my room, Levi is eating someone's abandoned cereal bowl, dumping milk onto the floor and himself with every spoonful) We officially need to invest in a cow. We need a fresh GALLON of milk every 36 hours. I serve myself a bowl of cereal and groan at the world with my half shut eyes. I am not a morning person and regardless of how many cute babies or preschoolers are smiling at me, I am not thrilled.
7:30am: I feel more human. I kick Luke off of the computer to start getting ready for school. I ask Juliette and Luke to start getting dressed. 1 minute later they come to tell me they dont have any school uniforms washed in their drawers.
I head back to the laundry/storage room where mountains of clean laundry live in purgatory until I decide I will fold them. (NEVER)
I move clothes left and right from basket to basket, looking for 4 pairs of shorts, 4 uniform shirts, 4 pairs of socks, and 2 pairs of underwear (naked twins).
I only come up with 4 pairs of shorts, 2 uniform shirts, and 2 pairs of underwear. no matching socks. Luke and Juliette have no clean shirts. I tell them they will need to recycle a shirt on the floor of their room that they failed to put in the dirty clothes basket to be washed. They understand of course, because this happens at least 3 times each week to somebody. Recycled shirts are actually a very earth-friendly approach to preserving our water resources, imo.
7:45am, pack twin lunches (ryan has already packed older two), tell Luke and Juliette to brush teeth.
7:55am, look for missing shoes and belts. tell Juliette and Luke to brush their teeth, this time in my angry voice, because they didnt do it the first time.
8am: yell at everyone while on my hands and knees searching under beds, for having misplaced their belts and shoes in less than 24 hours.
8:15am: get twins dressed, check clock.
8:15am: yell at everyone because we're going to be late and no one seems to care.
8:25am: do Juliette's hair, sign Luke's planner, sign twins' daily report, still need to put bra on and brush teeth. check clock. decide to put bra on and skip teeth. Put shoes and socks back on twins because they took them off. Throw a tshirt on Levi and change diaper.
8:30am: yell at everyone to get in the car. Convince twins to get in car.
8:35am: give lecture on why I do not like to yell, and apologize for yelling, and then finish up with a highlight of all the things we (#byweImeanyou) could do better tomorrow.
8:45am: older two get dropped off, continue on to 2nd school for twins.
9am: park and get Jackson out first, Lincoln 2nd, and Levi last, hoping twins dont run out into parking lot while I get Levi.
9:03am: Just about to pull Levi out of the car when I smell something horrendous.
9:03am: check Lincoln's pants. BINGO. STINK has been located. (Jackson is totally potty trained, Lincoln never has pee pee accidents, and never has accidents at school at all. But he DOES have #2 accidents, which he holds until he's at home, or in the car. You'd think I'd be better prepared)
9:03am: no spare clothes, no wipes. just me and sir stinkytown. I find a few Wendy's napkins, a half-empty bottle of water, and Bath and Body sparkly hand sanitizer, strip Lincoln in the car in the school parking lot and wipe this peanut butter poop that smells like Thanksgiving leftovers 4 months old, wipe it from his cheeks and legs. undress him, toss gloppy underwear into old publix shopping bag, slather sparkly pink hand sanitizer on his bottom, and pull his pants back up commando.
9:05am: proudly march into class, feeling victorious that we made it, tell the teacher Lincoln is commando, wish them success, and kiss them goodbye.
9:06am: realize today is a half day and they're all only in school until 1:20. Drive home not thrilled by this revelation.
10:20am just Levi and I, we read books, play with Christmas ornaments, and watch tv and eat snacks. Too many snacks. Remind myself to stop eating so much and decide tomorrow I will eat better. I drink iced coffee and feel my strength returning.
10:40am put levi down for his nap, start working on my Jamberry business, putting holiday customer appreciation cards together and answering the 42 notifications that have popped up in less than 8 hours while I slept. It's kinda weird to say I "work" on facebook, but I totally do, and am absolutely in love with it. My team of over 170 people has been killin it and I'm always so excited to jump on facebook and see how they're doing or what they need from me. This is a part of the day I find invigorating and refreshing. It's my me time.
Speaking of selfish, I really need to get back into my bible study routine. I need that daily and not being grounded in God's word is probably why I have been flying off the handle so quickly lately.
11:59am: Ryan comes home for lunch, but today he changes clothes and goes for a run in the park.
I keep jammin. When he comes back he only has time for a drink and some snacks to go, we briefly talk about this week's agenda, I will be gone some nights this week as I volunteered to sing in our church's huge historical fiction production of Christmas 1914 in World War 1, so we discuss logistics of the week, and then he's gone again.
12:15pm: Levi wakes up. G-R-umpy. I offer him foods and drinks, and he settles in. He's just like me in that way. He eventually entertains himself in my sight while I keep working.
12:55pm: start cleaning up all my stamps and envelopes, and grab some to-go snacks. We pick up twins first, then Luke and Juliette. We're home by 1:45 but I need to pick up some Jamstuff from a consultant in the next town so we head 30 min south to grab this stuff. Twins are cranky and tired. Lincoln falls asleep on the drive. I start singing Christmas carols to practice for my church play which opens tomorrow night and runs for about 2 weeks.....
But Jackson does not want me to sing, he wants an Ipad, and he wants to be home. I can't give him anything he wants, so while he screams, I apologize to the older kids for having to subject them to Jackson's fit, and I keep singing.
After yelling for about 29 minutes, asking for his Ipad and just throwing himself all about his carseat as best he can, he finally falls asleep. We make it back home.
3:35pm:We get back in the car to take Luke to his Speed Academy and Juliette to gymnastics.
4:00pm: Twins, Levi and myself get home, read a book with each twin, (they have to read to get their ipads from me) and pass out ipads.
4:20pm: We now get back into the car to pick up kids from their classes and head back home. I tell Luke and Juliette to put their belts, shoes, and backpacks in the correct place so we wont have any yelling the next morning. (it doesnt matter, they'll still somehow lose their belts before morning)
4:42pm: home again, and within minutes both twins are naked, and I smell something horrible. I follow the smell and it appears Lincoln made attempts to sit on the potty, but they were pretty poor attempts and it wouldnt be the first time this day I would wish I was born without a nose. I find Lincoln walking strangely like a cowboy too many days in the saddle, text a picture to Ryan about the horrendous tasks I undertake at my day job, to which he replies, "gnarly" :) , clean Lincoln up, clean potty chair smear disaster, take soiled clothes to utility sink to rinse out, meanwhile Juliette speaks a mile a minute about her day and her gymnastics, and Luke is asking what he can do around the house to go spend some time with the neighborhood kids down the road, and all I want to do is get the caca out from under my fingernails.
5:55pm: Ryan walks in the door with dominoes...apparently I forgot during the frenzy of the evening that I texted him asking if he could pick up dinner.
5:56pm I feel crazy that I can't even remember asking him to get pizza, and yet there in my phone is the proof that I did. Now we have porkchops, mac and cheese, greenbeans, and pizza for dinner.
6:10pm, I throw on a sweater and run out of the door to church choir practice, thankful for the peace in the car ride, and for a husband who lets me escape from time to time, and a music ministry at church that humbles me in their talents and abilities and provides me with this weekly refuge.
730pm: head home, help with bedtime routines (teeth, get twins dressed, twins get undressed, get twins dressed again, baths, take away ipads, screams, can't find pajamas, pull a prayer off of our December prayer chain (family Christmas tradition, write people's names, or groups of people, or issues we want to pray for on strips of construction paper and create a Christmas garland. Each night one link is pulled off and becomes the focus of our bedtime prayer).
Nurse Levi, put him in his crib (of all 5 kids he's the best at going to bed when he's supposed to). Twins continue jumping and flopping around in their room for another hour, sing lullabies to older two, and flop on the couch around 9:15, listen to the twins thump around and giggle. Ryan goes to work to grab some stuff to work on for the night, and then to Publix...because we're out of milk.
9:20pm: This is when I do not clean the kitchen, fold clothes, or any other selfless task.
9:20pm-10:45pm: Continuously re-enter the twins' room to demand they lay back down, stop taking their clothes off, and stop jumping. At some point in this time frame, Lincoln falls asleep.
10:45pm: Jackson is still not asleep, tossing, jumping, or standing at the door yelling" I want mommy please!"
11:00pm Jackson falls asleep.
11:01pm Ryan has been home for awhile, but now falls asleep on the couch. I work some more with my Jamberry team who's across the world and just now entering their afternoon, briefly look at the PTA newsletter I need to edit next week, and continue some research concerning the truth about sex trafficking for a fundraiser I'm running, to benefit an amazing nonprofit in Jacksonville Fl called Rethreaded. They exist to help women who've escaped the sex trade through healing therapies and job trainings. If you'd like to learn more or donate directly check out their site rethreaded.com, and to shop my Jamberry site so that you can grab your fave nail products and I can donate my commission back to them, shop here: mclean.jamberry.com . (Christmas shipping deadline is Dec 18 FYI) You can also follow along and just learn more in our fundraiser on facebook: Rethreaded Fundraiser with Jamberry
1:30am: I'm still here, relishing this silence and not wanting it to end, to wake up and start again.
But it will, so I must sleep. I live to fight another day.
As we part I'm going to give you and myself some very good advice, that I can never seem to remember in the midst of the chaos.
To all you mamas and papas struggling in this season of parenthood, where little humans want all of your attention, and they make disgusting poopy messes at 4 years old and it seems there's no end in sight...when you're in this season, please be reminded, you're not alone, and though the days seem long and you want to pull the hairs from your head and theirs, remember you are not alone. I know there are behind the scenes moments that lead up to you losing your temper and your mind, and I know it's hard. You're not alone. I also love to remind myself and you, that God chose me to fill this role, out of the whole world, He picked me--just as He has chosen you in the role you're in.
At the end of the day, I am grateful he chose me, regardless of the challenges that arise. The bags under my eyes may tell a different story, but that's the truth.
The blessing is actually that he chose me at all.
That's all folks. I'm off to bed. I'll be back SOON to recap my sweet sister's wedding weekend! So many great stories, it'll be hard to focus on just one, and it'll be even harder not to poke fun at all the people who said or did dumb things that weekend. :) I'll do my best.